How to Deal with Frustration: Ask Better Questions
Since I started building my website, I've learned a lot about how to deal with frustration. At first, I researched and studied about how to build my website... And I thought "Wow! I could do that!" So, I got all excited and got started on it. And then, there were some things I didn't know how to do. So I had to find some answers And sometimes I didn't really know where to find them or if I would be able to do what was required... And it took me a long time to find the answers occasionally. And as usually happens when anything is taking longer than I think it should, I began to doubt myself... Doubt my creativity, my intelligence, you name it... I would doubt it. And when I had started doubting, well... Then I would start worrying... Because if it wasn't going the way I thought it should, well, then what worse thing might happen? But over time, somehow, I noticed what I was saying to myself...which is the key in how to deal with frustration. So I've learned that asking questions like "What else could go wrong?" or "How much worse could it get?" will get you answers to those questions. Really motivating answers too! The kind of answers that motivate you to go run and hide and give up! But saying something like "This could be a good thing..." or "I wonder how this could be a good thing..." will lead you in a different direction... A direction that is more enjoyable... And you might start finding answers that make you realize that this situation is temporary... Personally... When I'm working on something that will take a while to accomplish...I prefer to just assume that everything that happens is going to help me accomplish my goal. Somehow...someway... It's not that it's the "truth"...but it makes all the bumps along the way feel smaller and easier to deal with... The key thing in how to deal with frustration to remember is... Frustration is caused by a thought that something shouldn't be how it is. And I've had plenty of "bad" things (basically things I didn't want) happen that then ended up being some of the best things that have ever happened to me. And I'm not kidding about that one bit. I thought it was really bad when I moved to a foreign country and had to learn two foreign languages--plus two dialects--just to be able to communicate with my in-laws, step children, and neighbors... Just one little example of all the "bad"/"good" things that have happened. I've been pretty amazed at how many "bad" things in my life have turned into good things later... So who am I to decide what "should" or "shouldn't" occur in my life? And how do I know that anything is "good" or "bad"? Is it bad just because I don't want it?!? If you have kids, you know that it's not a good idea to always give them what they want... Keep that in mind the next time you don't get what you want... Anyway... This is just one of the ways I deal with frustration...and not getting what I want...or when things don't go the way I think they should... Hope it helps you too!
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Looking forward to hearing from you... Suzanne
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