How to Develop New Skills without Stress

As an expat there always seems to be so many things to learn...

And if you don't know how to develop new skills without stress, it might feel like a nightmare.

Before I moved, there were always a lot of things I wanted to learn to do or just be more informed about because I'm a curious person...

But now in a foreign country, it's no longer optional...

I really need to know how to do some of this stuff!

Ok...ok...the world will not stop spinning if I don't learn them right this second...

But still...they are a priority...

What's funny is that I had a lot to learn when I first moved to France and now I still have a lot to learn...

You know how it goes...

The more you learn, the more you realize that you have a lot to learn...

So I've still got lists of things that I don't know...and I'm even more aware of how much more there is to know about living here on the border of France, Germany, and Switzerland.

But I'm a lot more relaxed and calm now...

When I first moved to France, I was going out of my mind thinking about it all.

So the situation hasn't really changed...

I have...

So I got to thinking about what I've done exactly that has changed it all from a life of insanity to a relatively peaceful and enjoyable experience.

What I've realized is that dealing with:

• Lots of unknown situations and people (and languages)...
• Staying relaxed and calm when you don't understand someone or something...
• Trusting that you're not a complete idiot just because you made a mistake...
• And all the other possible scenarios that make up my life here...

...are skills that you learn.

Not everybody knows how to develop new skills without stress before they move to a foreign country.

In other words...

Learning easily and quickly in a calm and relaxed state is a skill.

Some people handle the move better than other people because they already have some level of ability in dealing with these circumstances.

If I had realized that earlier...

I think it would have somehow made me feel better to know I could do something about it.

If I knew that it was just a matter of learning how to develop new skills without stress, I would have felt a lot better about everything...

I mean, back when I first got to France, it was all about "how different it is here" and "there's nothing I can do about it"...

Because "it's just so hard" and "I'm never going to be able to do this"...

One thing that has been very useful for me to remember in those moments is that...

Of course it's hard right now!

I haven't put in enough hours to be able to do it well. It has nothing to do with my "ability to learn"...

Some new skills take only 50 to 100 hours to master...

And others like language learning require more like 1000 hours or more to develop a level of proficiency...

I can learn these things and I will after I've put in the required amount of time.

It's a little different for everyone.

Some people learn faster than others, but it has a lot more to do with attitude and state of mind than anything else.

For me one of the more comforting things to remember is that I'm always learning.

Even when it seems like everything is going wrong and I can't do anything right...

I'm in the middle of the learning process...

And I'm learning how to develop new skills at the same time when I can stay calm in the midst of it all.

And I'm still the same competent person I was earlier...even though I may not feel very competent at the moment.

Sometimes it helps to remind myself of all the things I do know how to do.

Especially at the beginning of a new learning experience, I sometimes felt like I couldn't do anything right and it helps a lot when I stop and remind myself that there are a lot of things I know how to do.

And there's not one person in this world that wouldn't have to go through the same process and make the same mistakes as me.

Sometimes just remembering that this learning process is a temporary situation can make a big difference...

Because after a certain amount of time practicing it I'll know what I'm doing and I'll be good at it.

And while we're on the subject of How to Develop New Skills without Stress...

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Looking forward to hearing from you...

Suzanne

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