I Just Can't Do it: Dealing with Overwhelm
I don't know your specific situation... Maybe it's similar to mine... "I just can't do it" is something I've said too many times... Basically... I'm living here in France and if I want to continue to be married to my husband and live near him... Then I have to stay here... I suppose our circumstances could change at some point in the future but... I'm more than ok with my life here...I even like it! Dare I say it... I don't want to move back home... Stage One: The Spoiled Brat Stage But the first year or so I was here was a different story... I looked at all the language learning (three languages) and complete upheaval that living in France would require (for my situation) as one big massive thing... And I just behaved like a little girl who didn't want to eat her peas... "But I don't want to!!!!!!" or my favorite... "I just can't do it!!!" And I don't blame myself...because I was looking at it all as one REALLY BIG thing and it felt like a lot of work... Who in their right mind would look at that and feel good about having to do it? Unfortunately... I continued to look at it that way for awhile... Stage Two: The Stop Fighting It Stage A little bit later... I decided to make peace with it all and just accept it the way it was...big...huge...whatever it looked like... Which did help because at least I was feeling better... So I just... Let everything be exactly the way it was and not just "put up" with it but... Actually consider that it could be a good thing somehow... And then... Stage Three: The Go For It Stage After doing that for awhile I decided to do something about it... I basically got fed up with having to spend a few minutes conjugating every time I wanted to say something... For me that was mastering the three languages that I need to use on a daily basis... No more "I just can't do it... This time I was going to do it... Now I had managed to learn enough of all three to get by in the past three years but... I wanted to be able to go out and express myself about as easily as I could back home...and I knew that it was possible because... Other people had already done it... And so would it! I'm going to do it AND I'm going to have fun doing it too...but one way or another I'm going to do it! Stage Four: Peace What's interesting about this stage is that it had very little to do with studying or working hard at anything... I did make a lot of improvement between stages three and four but... This is the stage where I really let go of perfection, any need to speak the languages perfectly... And I especially let go of what anyone else might think about me when I am speaking a foreign language (or anything else for that matter)... Now I'm relaxed and happy...I can talk to people...screw it up occasionally...laugh at myself for it... I'm actually learning much faster now than at any of the other stages... And I'm having a blast! This is so much easier than I ever thought. I feel at home here now. "Foreign" is a state of mind...and you can always change your mind... Do you want to come join me? Contact me to set up an appointment... And while we're on the subject of "I just can't do it" and dealing with overwhelm... Or just read what everyone else has said... Or you can introduce yourself to the Thought Detective community! Looking forward to hearing from you! Suzanne Go from "I Just Can't Do it: Dealing with Overwhelm" to the Culture Shock Guide articles Go to How to Get Motivated articles Go to the Thought Detective home page
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